2020

I know that most of us want to completely forget the past year and focus on a possibly brighter year ahead. 2020 was bleak and even though I was fortunate enough to not be affected by the pandemic in terms of loss and work, I still felt the heavy weight of this year on my shoulders. However I have to say that I have learnt a lot about many different things this year and so I really wanted to properly say goodbye to what has been a pivotal year for all of us.

I tend to only broach this topic during my yearly check-ins and I was really hesitant to mention that this year because it is something very personal. But I have mentioned this before and I don’t think anyone should be ashamed of their struggles – we need to speak out more on mental issues. As I said, I have hinted at this before but I’ve been struggling with my mental health for quite a while now, and I started the year in a very bad place. I had been hunting for jobs during the last half of 2019 but couldn’t find anything. I had to accept the fact that I wouldn’t get a great job straight out of uni, and so I applied to literally every entry-level job I saw. I was in a very bad place financially and I’m not someone who copes well with uncertainty and having no purpose, so this was a very difficult time. I then found a job and it was nice to get a little bit of money in the bank but I knew from the beginning it wouldn’t do.

When lockdown started in March, I struggled even more because I felt like my whole life was my job in recruitment and I didn’t even like it that much. In the day, I would look at CVs, cover letters and job descriptions. In the evening, I would edit my CV, write cover letters and look at job descriptions to get a job in publishing. It was all very repetitive, and I think my brain assimilated the two and I started getting very upset when someone would get hired at work because it felt like everyone was getting their dream jobs but me (which I know is completely ludicrous as 2020 has been terrible for many who lost their jobs and struggled to find a new one). I just felt so sad and empty, I couldn’t even sleep properly anymore.

I was on the waiting list for therapy all that time and I finally got assigned to a therapist in the Spring. It helped me so very much – I can’t stress that enough. It sounds silly but being confronted with your own thoughts and words on paper or in someone else’s mouth makes everything sounds completely different. I realised what was wrong and what I needed to do to let go of unhelpful thoughts. I am still working hard at giving up my old thinking pattern, but I already feel so much more like myself – something I hadn’t felt in years. The NHS is a wonderful system and we need to applaud it – not at our windows, but by voting for people that would fund it properly. I would’ve never been able to get the help I needed if it wasn’t for the NHS, and I know this is the case for many, many people in the UK.

In the summer, I’ve also been accepted into the Society of Young Publishers mentorship program, SYP Into, to help people get into publishing. I got paired with the most helpful and lovely mentor, and I’m so glad I got to meet such a wonderful person during such a grim year. I feel a lot more confident that I can get a publishing job and I’ve even had several interviews since I became a mentee. I also learnt a lot about what I want and don’t want in my career, and I think that’s really useful because when we start we tend to accept everything and that’s how we end up being taken advantage of. Publishing is a very competitive industry though, and it’s been even worse this year, but I’m hopeful I will find something for me this year.

Finally, last year I started this blog and photography again – two hobbies that are very dear to my heart. It’s been a joy to share my love of books on here again. I have taken a break recently because I’m still not quite healed yet and I know now that it’s better to just stop and rest, than desperately trying to exhaust myself and go around in circles. I have spent the holidays with my family in France, which was lovely as I hadn’t seen them for a whole year! I’m back in the UK and in quarantine now, so I hope to be able to bring some nice content in the coming weeks.

This was quite personal, but it’s nice to check-in every now and then. I hope you all have a good year, may it be filled with laughter and great books!

Sunday Post #15

The Sunday Post is a weekly meme hosted by Kimberly @ Caffeinated Reviewer. It’s a chance to share News. A post to recap the past week, showcase books and things we have received and share news about what is coming up for the week on our blog

You can find the original post here.

This week was especially rubbish at work, but it made me even more motivated to apply for publishing jobs. I am also really looking forward to be back in France with my family next Wednesday, and enjoy a soothing Christmas break. I say ‘soothing’ but my teenage siblings seem to have planned a whole schedule of things to do together so I might not have much time to rest! But being with them and our pets will be perfect to get energised before the new year.

I’ve read and finished

This is the French translation of stories by Junji Ito, incuding ‘The Story of the Mysterious Tunnel’

Currently Reading

Sister Sledge – He’s The Greatest Dancer (I’ve been exclusively listening to my disco playlist this week because there is no better remedy to low mood!)

Have a great week, and happy reading! x

Sunday Post #14

The Sunday Post is a weekly meme hosted by Kimberly @ Caffeinated Reviewer. It’s a chance to share News. A post to recap the past week, showcase books and things we have received and share news about what is coming up for the week on our blog

You can find the original post here.

I have really struggled with my blog for the last couple of weeks, so I am very sorry for the lack of consistency over here. It’s been a very stressful and frankly disappointing time for me, and my mood has been much affected by it. Oh well, Christmas is near so let’s rejoice!

Wednesday was my birthday and it might sound silly but it felt so lovely to hear from all my friends and family, and spend some quality time with my boyfriend. I feel energised and stronger thanks to everyone’s thoughts and well-wishes. One of my special treats was an afternoon tea at Mr Fogg’s House of Botanicals, and it was quite amazing! Their afternoon tea is actually a tipsy tea, so your teapot is filled with a deliciously indulgent cocktail. I posted a picture below, I would highly recommend for a special celebration – the cocktails and food were scrumptious. Restaurants have re-opened in London, so my boyfriend took me there and I had the best afternoon – although I definitely can’t drink anymore as I was waaayyy tipsier than I’d like to admit). It was also very nice to dress up, something I hadn’t done in months!

I’ve read and finished

Currently Reading

These are the books I bought in November. They’re mostly secondhand but I couldn’t resist Foyles’ Black Friday sale of 25% off on selected paperbacks!

Already read and loved!

Elton John – Step Into Christmas (definitely stepped into the festive period with Elton this week!)

Have a great week, and happy reading! x

Sunday Post #10

The Sunday Post is a weekly meme hosted by Kimberly @ Caffeinated Reviewer. It’s a chance to share News. A post to recap the past week, showcase books and things we have received and share news about what is coming up for the week on our blog

You can find the original post here.

I took a little break in blogging over the past week or so. Everything got a little bit too much and I just needed a break. This allowed me to understand why I was feeling so sick of applying for publishing jobs, and as a result, why blogging was difficult.

I’m currently working in recruitment so I basically spend my days looking a job descriptions, CVs and cover letters. After work, I look at (publishing) job descriptions, write my CV and cover letters. As you can see, it feels like that’s all I’m doing every hour of every day and it resulted in having the impression to work ALL THE TIME. Another thing is that my blog reminds me of my love of books, which reminds me of wanting to work in publishing and… ugh, no I just needed to stop thinking about jobs for a little while.

I got my camera out of storage and I’m getting back into photography, which feels great! It’s something that’s forcing me to go outside and explore new places, and it’s something I’m doing just for me. Here is a little picture I took of Highgate Cemetery yesterday:

Currently Reading

Future Islands – Seasons (If they ever adapt The Only Good Indians into a film, I hope they use this song in the trailer!)

Have a great week, and happy reading! x

Sunday Post #9

The Sunday Post is a weekly meme hosted by Kimberly @ Caffeinated Reviewer. It’s a chance to share News. A post to recap the past week, showcase books and things we have received and share news about what is coming up for the week on our blog

You can find the original post here.

I mentioned last week that I had a second interview for a publishing job and unfortunately, I didn’t get it. The feedback was very positive, though so I guess that’s a good thing. I’m a little bit pessimistic because I always get positive feedback from job interviews and I’m informed that ‘it was hard to come to a decision’ but I always lose the job to the experimented candidate. It makes perfect sense but it’s also quite frustrating to know that there’s nothing I can do apart from getting experience. But how do you get experience if you can never get the job? That’s the eternal question. It’s also extremely annoying to hear such positive feedback when I’ve been rejected to the same job for the same company (just a different division) earlier. How can my CV and cover letter be good for one hiring manager but not the other? Ugh. I hate job hunting. But I also feel unhappy with my current job so I need to keep going. Sorry about my rant, but it feels good to let it out!

I’ve read and finished

Currently Reading

Palace – Heaven Up There (This is such a beautiful song!)

Have a great week, and happy reading! x

Sunday Post #8

The Sunday Post is a weekly meme hosted by Kimberly @ Caffeinated Reviewer. It’s a chance to share News. A post to recap the past week, showcase books and things we have received and share news about what is coming up for the week on our blog

You can find the original post here.

I had a very important job interview this week, and I stressed so much for it that I spent there rest of the week feeling like a deflated balloon. I think it went well, and I hope to have a positive update for you next Sunday!

Autumn is truly here in the UK, it was so cold this weekend I had to wear a big jumper. I’m really happy about this as autumn is my favourite season. Unfortunately, we also heard that the Government were enforcing some restrictions for at least the next six months. I’m really worried I might not be able to spend Christmas with my family this year… They are healthy and this is what matters, but I really miss them. Oh well, fingers crossed!

I’ve read and finished

Currently Reading

Parquet Courts – Tenderness

Have a great week, and happy reading! x

Sunday Post #7

The Sunday Post is a weekly meme hosted by Kimberly @ Caffeinated Reviewer. It’s a chance to share News. A post to recap the past week, showcase books and things we have received and share news about what is coming up for the week on our blog

You can find the original post here.

This week was a little insane as I came back from a ten-day holidays (that’s why there was no Sunday Post last week) and I had so much to catch up on at work. I’m kind of the only one in my team so that means that taking time off work is always tricky… I wish I had someone else with me. It was such a crazy way to come back that I felt so incredibly tired and had the biggest nap ever yesterday! I had planned a nice ‘Stacking the Shelves’ post but by the time I woke up, it was too dark to take pictures of my lovely new books so I have postponed it for next week instead.

Speaking of work, now that I’ve let my manager know I can officially say that I’ve been very busy lately applying to jobs in publishing! It’s super exciting and nerve-wracking, and it keeps me well busy during the week. The job market is crazy at the moment, and publishing is even more competitive than it used to be: a lot more people are applying to jobs but there are very few of them. I’m applying to entry-level roles so there are often 500+ applicants (if not 1500+!)… I’m focusing on jobs that match my Operations experience and hope for the best!

This week and the last*

I’ve read and finished (over the past couple of weeks)

Currently Reading

Sly & The Family Stone – Family Affair

Have a great week, and happy reading! x

Mid-Year Review

Today, I won’t review a book but how my year has been so far. This is a very selfish post as it is a very therapeutic thing to write. It feels good to take a step back and see what I have achieved these past few months – something that can be difficult when you’re in the middle of… well, your life.


The first highlight of my year was to actually find a job after months of desperately applying to any entry-level role. Of course, I started by focusing on publishing jobs but I quickly understood that I had pretty much the same CV as everybody else and needed to seriously work on gaining new skills. So at the moment, I’m not doing exactly what I wanted but I’m very happy to learn new skills in a professional context – and having a salary, obviously. I realise how lucky I’ve been as I started my job just a couple of months before lockdown and was able to keep on working from home.


And how can I mention the beginning of 2020 without talking about coronavirus and lockdown? This has been a strange time for everyone. In the UK, I am not convinced that the crisis was taken seriously soon enough and as a result, we suffered from a very high number of deaths. Now that the lockdown is easing down people seem to be going back to normal, which feels strange to me. I am happy to be able to go out again but I’m being careful and conscious of others’ vulnerability. Yet, we’ve booked a little weekend away by the sea as we are slowly going stir-crazy in our tiny London studio flat. I miss fresh air and I’m really looking forward to stretching my legs and walk on something other than concrete for a couple of days. Lockdown has changed us all and I think we realised the value of slowing down, the importance of green spaces, and that it’s okay to not do much at all.


We are living in such extraordinary times, a lot of bad things have happened this year but it’s important to look at the bright side. It made me very sad that people needed to see a man die in a video to take full measure of the racial issues that are engrained in our Western societies, but I feel that things are changing. I hope that the momentum will keep going and that we will see our world become more diverse and open to others.


On a personal note, I finally found the courage in me to refer myself to get therapy at the end of last year. It was nerve-wracking to admit that I was unwell and needed help, added to the long wait to actually get to see somebody (not blaming our wonderful NHS workers here, obviously). I have properly started my sessions during lockdown on the phone, and I can already feel a change in me. I feel more motivated and have more goals: getting back to posting on here is one of them, and it makes me so happy. I also try to be more active in the book/publishing community (which is so incredibly lovely by the way, I still can’t believe how nice everyone is to each other!) and refocus my attention on what I want to achieve with my life – at least in the next five years. It’s a long process and it takes time, but I feel very hopeful. 


I’m not sure what the rest of 2020 is going to look like, and I don’t know if anyone needs to hear that but please, hang in there. We’ll get through it – with lots of books and cups of tea. x